Hard at Work

I'm sitting her trying to convince myself to stop playing on the computer and finish my homework. If I would just get off my ass and get it done, I could be done with my Psychology class in about two days. That would mean more than a month left in the semester with one less class to worry about. My procrastinator gene seems to be dominant, though, so I'm guessing I'll be scrambling at the last minute to finish things. Wish me luck, won't you?

On the bright side, once I get through the semester I have 10 days at Disney to help me unwind. We're headed down immediately after my last Monday night class, driving all night and checking in as soon as our room is ready. I fully intend to spend the day after my last class bouncing around the Magic Kingdom with my son and husband and hugging as many mice, chipmunks and ducks as I can find. Also, eating as many churros as humanly possible.

It's just the three of us this time, no other family going and no friends to meet up with, and honestly, I can't remember that last time I felt this relaxed about a Disney trip. The only schedule we have to worry about is our own, we don't have to coordinate with anyone to decide what park to go to or what ride to ride and we can eat wherever we want without worrying about anyone else's tastes or budget. It's not that I don't enjoy traveling with family, but... yeah, but. It's just nice to have my own little family with no one else around. No promises, but I'll try to get in a couple of posts while we're there so you can all see how beautiful Disney is during the Christmas season.

More to come tomorrow; I'm off to work on my English paper. Wish me luck on that, too, won't you?

The End of the Beginning

I can see the light at the end of the tunnel for this semester. When school started, back in August, it felt that I would be slogging through homework assignments for approximately a million years. Jumping back into Algebra and writing papers was quite a shock to my system. I kept plugging away, though, and gradually it became routine. Come home, get Alex ready for bed, sit down at the computer and do some math or research. Now I have less than a month left and I can actually list all of the assignments I have left to complete. (for the curious - a couple more chapters of Algebra with homework and a test, the Algebra final, one more analysis paper, one test and a final for Psychology, 2 more speeches with self evaluations and a paper on an outside speech for Public Speaking and 2 more papers for English Comp).

I'm almost done, and by Christmas I'll have 18 credit hours under my belt (I had a few hours that transferred from years ago.) That means I just have, well, a lot more work to do. But still, it's a solid start, and I'm taking 16 more hours next semester, including what will probably be a very grueling Anatomy & Physiology class. Lots of memorization for that one, so no relying on my ability to figure out things as I go along. I'm actually going to have to buckle down and study. I'm thinking flashcards? For all the body parts and bones and muscles I have the remember? It worked for Alex when he was learning to read, so I guess it's worth a shot.

The feeling that I get, being so close to the end of this 1st semester, is amazing. I feel like I'm finally making forward progress and getting my life into gear. I can look forward, in the not to distant future, to having a job that I enjoy. To actually having a career instead of just a job. It's been a long time coming, but I'm really getting it done.

School and Stuff

I just spent a ridiculous amount of time watching a commercial second by second and writing down everything that happened in it. Why would I do this, you ask? It's for English Comp; I have to write an analysis of an advertisement that does the following:

describes the advertisement’s features/narrative accurately; explains the significance of those features in terms of their relationship to the product/idea for sale; uses this particular advertisement to identify the cultural values that this advertisement reflects and on which it capitalizes.

Sounds like a load of fun, doesn't it? Also, I really feel I'm learning a skill here that's going to help me on my chosen career path (nursing, for those of you who didn't already know that). Can you tell that I'm less than enthusiastic about this assignment?

In other news, it's exactly one month until we leave on vacation. That means one month until I'm done with school for this semester.Which feels a little crazy when I think about it, that time has flown by this fast. But now it's starting to creep by again. I can see the end in sight, with our long awaited trip as my reward, but it feels so far away. And yes, this is a total first world problem, I am well aware of that. I have about a million things to do before the trip, including some that aren't really necessary but that I would like to get off my to-do list, so I'm hoping that I'll be able to fill my non-school time up enough so it goes by faster. On a related note, does anyone want to come hang some blinds and put up a shelf in Alex's room?

OK folks, I'm off to bed. 6 am comes awfully early and I have to get my beauty sleep. Here's hoping I have something more interesting to say tomorrow.

Kindergarten

I sent my boy off to Kindergarten today. We've been preparing for this day for weeks, months really, talking about the things that he'll do and learn. I've been trying to get him excited, to avoid the tears and separation anxiety so many people talk about.

I may have done too good of a job.

We walked into the school this morning at 7:40. Well, I walked. Alex was bouncing around like a demented bunny on a steady diet of amphetamines and coffee. It was all I could do to get him to hold still long enough for the obligatory first day of school photo.

We walked down what felt like the shortest hallway in the world, me trying to slow him down and Alex rushing to join the throng of children heading for the check-in table. Reaching the table they ask what group he's in. "Orange," I say, proud to have remembered this important fact. While I have my 5 second conversation with the teacher, Alex has already located his name tag and is attempting to peel the backing. The teacher smiles as I stick the tag to Alex's shirt, pressing firmly to make sure it sticks, to ensure that everyone knows my baby's name today.

We follow the crowd to the Auditorium, Alex dragging me along. As soon as we walk in the sound hits me, dozens of children in various states of excitement and dismay. Alex makes his way to an empty seat in the front row, next to a boy in a green shirt, eager to make a new friend.

The boy is sad, however, and Alex is baffled by this.

And that pretty much sums it up. To him, this is all an adventure, the first step into the most exciting thing he's ever done. How can anyone be scared or sad or lonely or nervous when everything is so grand? And just like that, the sadness that was welling inside of me evaporates, morphing into delight at the joy he feels. I kneel down, giving him a kiss and receiving a lick in return (a delightful habit he's developed lately). I hug him and move to stand when he throws his arms around my neck, squeezing tightly. "Love you, Mama," he whispers in my ear. I laugh, relieved that he needs me after all and hold him tight. Just seconds later I disentangle myself and step away.

"Be good today," I tell him, mock stern. He grins, mischievous. He settles into his chair and I move towards the door, and just like that, I'm no longer the focus of his world. He looks around as I watch, kicking his feet as he takes it all in. When I reach the door I turn back one last time, expecting him to be watching.

He is not, of course, not my independent boy. I call his name and blow him a kiss. He sends one back and I'm gone, leaving him in the hands of people I've just met, letting him go, just a bit.